I can't think of anything!
So my friend Lon over for an evening of food and gaming, and surprised him by setting up Games Workshop's The Battle of Five Armies, one of my absolute favorite miniatures games.
Published back in 2004, this boxed set game is a variant of the company's Warmaster rules system, designed for 10mm scale figures. The set included the eponymous armies in plastic, plus two very nice hill quarters, terrain (the "Ruins of Dale") and a printed cardboard river set. Additional metal figures could be purchased separately. At the time the game value was high-- one of GW's best efforts, hands down. But the game was almost abruptly discontinued. As a result, I was able to score two copies before anyone caught on as to how great this thing was-- today's prices are in the "lost limbs" category.
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| Oh, you big, beautiful box (plus a few extras Not Appearing In This Battle). |
But enough of that, and on with the play.
Lon's familiar with miniatures from his D&D days, but the Warmaster system was entirely new to him. He knows of Warhammer, and immediately realized they shared an ancestry (though the games themselves are very different). But for this game, he was entirely a newbie.
The set up should be familiar-- Smaug the Terrible is dead, and the news has brought plunderers to the Lonely Mountain, eager to claim his treasure, some for generally good purposes (the Elves and Men, seeking to recover from the destruction of Laketown), some to protect ancestral rights (the Dwarves), and some just because it's there for the taking (the goblin). And so, between the arms of the Lonely Mountain, beside the River Running and through the ruins of Dale, the foes encounter each other-- with the Dwarves, Elves, and Men realizing that their legal disputes can't be resolved if they're all dead.
So while the name is "Five Armies", in effect it's just two-- the Good Guys vs. the Bad Guys.
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| The Bad Guys, with some other Extras Not Appearing In This Battle (Especially Smaug, who's technically dead. Or mostly dead.) |
Lon chose command of the Goblin Horde, which is a good choice for the novice-- they're a straightforward army with not a lot of details to recall, but with some nifty advantages. It consists largely of a whole lot of (weak) infantry ("Goblins"), a single unit of heavier infantry ("Goblin Guard"), and cavalry in the form of Wargs and Warg Riders, the former of which hit harder, the latter of which have armor and 360° shooting ability. Added to this are a boatload of "heroes"/"officers" to issue orders, a single goblin shaman (to cast helpful spells), and the general, Bolg of the North. The goblins begin with all the cavalry on the field, though constricted to the narrow strip east of the River Running. The bulk of their army will arrive piece-meal, based on a die roll at the start of each turn. They will enter on the western side of the river, from the south edge of the battle field, with the ruins of Dale between them and the opposing forces.
I took the ad hoc Alliance of Free Folk, and placed my armies first, restricted to arranging them on the mountain spurs, elves on the western spur, men and dwarves on the east, pretty much by the book. The spurs are a defended position by the rules, making the forces on them harder to hit in combat, but it's a trade-off, as the goblins, following the novel, are able to secretly scale the heights and toss rocks, spears and other nasty stuff on the defenders below, and get to keep doing so until (and if) the eagles arrive.
The Battle Begins... With a Yawn.
The battle is played in 8 turns maximum, of each side going in order, Goblins first. Lon quickly got a good portion of his infantry on the field, and tried to send his cavalry forward, but his officers were inept, and their advance (such as it was) stalled.
I ordered my forces off the spurs, and to some extent the elves responded. I maneuvered to link across the ford with the men and dwarves. However, the latter forces (especially the men) were quite comfortable on their rocky heights, and refused to believe any rumors that the goblins could possibly claim even higher ground. For some, this refusal continued later in the game, even as stuff whacked 'em on their heads.
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| Quoth the Dark Lord: "Why won't you move?" |
Turn the Second: Errybody 'Ere? Charge! Or, er, Mebbe Not.
The Dark Lord Lon started off the second round with a remarkable die roll, introducing his entire remaining force to the battle (and thus getting to drop stuff on those foolish Lakemen's heads).
But with his forces assembled, apparently assembling was all the goblins thought they were required to do. He was able to advance his infantry a bit on his left, but the cavalry pretty much sat there and blinked.
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| Some fancy maneuverin'! |
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| The Long View |
Turn the Third: Hey, I Think That's the Enemy Just Yonder.
Not much happened here for either side. The goblins were able to achieve a moderate advance, though the bulk of the cavalry still held back. The elves realized that a withdrawal across the ford wasn't going to be possible, so opted to extend themselves into a long (thin) line to prevent a flanking maneuver from the oncoming goblin horde, covering the ford as well. And the two forces stared at each other across the countryside, exchange insults and little else.
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| The Dark Lord; "Well, at least I can drop some rocks." |
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| Hmm... looks like a half-time show... |
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| Slowly... slowly... really slowly... |
Turn the Fourth: Let's You and Him Fight.
Finally! Some contact!
Giving up on their recalcitrant allies, the wargs surged forward on their own initiative to strike the line of elven archers who had crossed the ford. Wolf bites can be mighty nasty, and these were. One entire unit of elves was destroyed, and another barely survived with a third of its members, being forced to retreat back to the safety of the dwarves (certainly of much amusement to Durin's folk).
Across the ford, the goblins maneuvered to threaten the elven flanks, if they could, but this time the infantry faltered and failed to press the attack...
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| Elves down! Elves down! We need backup! |
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| The horror! Oh, the... uh... elvenity! |
Turn the Fifth: The Elves Call the Shots
With a goblin forlorn hope over extended on the Elven center (near the ford), and another looking to flank their right, the elves advanced into battle. The goblins in the lead were quickly overwhelmed, though not without elven losses, and the elven line extended on the far right to prevent the flanking. What would happen next?
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| The Elves find an answer! |
Turn the Sixth: Thar's a Bar! Whar? Ova Thar!
And then the dice fell the Good Guy's way— Beorn entered the fray! Charging in on the goblin left, he tore through the would-be flankers like... like... well, like a ginormous bear through a pack of goblins. Goblin corpses flew left and right, their blood slaking the thirsty ground, their bodies lying about like... okay, many many stands were removed, and the advancing goblin line was thoroughly whacked, confused and forced back before the bear retired a bit to rest and reconnect with the now advancing elves.
Meanwhile, on the Good Guy's left, the dwarves decided it was time to smack some wolves about, and stormed off the mountain slopes, backed by the men of the Long Lake, and aided by the remaining elves. The fur flew, and the wargs fell— four entire units wiped out by the swirling axes of Dain's people. "Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd Ai-mênu!" "Yipe! Yipe! Yipe! Whimper..."
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| Bear grills goblin. What a mess! |
Turn the Seventh: Thorin! Thorin!
And with that, the Gate of Erebor crashed down, and Thorin, in his gleaming armor, joined the battle. Even the elves were impressed with his kingly bearing, and he took command of a unit of spearmen, eager to follow the bearded one into combat. The Elfking also took command of another unit, and once again the mighty Beorn surged forward as well. The goblins rallied to surround the bear, hoping that slaying the beast would turn the tide... they succeeded in the former, but not the latter.
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| Elves and Dwarves and Bear, Oh... no we are NOT making that lame joke. |
Another view of the big Bear, Elf, Dwarf and Goblin fight.
The Final Chapter: The Death of Bolg
In a bold move, Bolg himself joined the fight, sending his Goblin Guard forward in a risky fight— but they were not enough to withstand the fury of Thorin. Down fell the goblins, and down went Bolg— perishing upon the spears of the elves and the bloody axe of Thorin Oakenshield.
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| And thus falls the big ugly orc. |
Their commander dead, their forces in disarray, the goblins panicked, and fled the field.
The King Under the Mountain had won the day.
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| The Eagles' View... having arrived too late to do anything but take beauty shots of the aftermath, those fickle-feathered flappers. |
Conclusion: A Fun Fight and a Promise
So we had a terrific time. Lon loved his first exposure to the Warmaster system, and we made promises to return to fight again. In the end, it's not the outcome of the game that matters— it's time with friends that makes the difference. My prayer for all of you in this time of separation and anxiety that you can find ways to overcome these, in person if possible, or via the many online opportunities.
So, thanks to Lon for a great fight, and hope for all for many more battles (of the fun kind) in the future!
Sincerely,
Howard, aka Parzival
